June 14th, 2007
Fabula Lepida, A Typical Tale
Many years ago, in the rolling green hills of Lin Glóssa, the great Wizard Alfondo built an amusement park for the entertainment and edification of the people of that beautiful country. It sprawled across the wide and sun-dappled fields by the banks of the river, and was packed from end to end with all manner of diversions, from carnival acts and thrilling rides, to competitions, games, and diverse concessions of every variety and flavour. Any wholesome thing you could dream of to do, they say, could be found in Alfondo’s Park.
As Alfondo’s Park grew both in size and in popularity, however, he began to suffer some logistical difficulties. You see, the Park was so constructed that there was no fence or gate to separate it from the surrounding areas, and anyone could come and go as she pleased. The attractions cost money, of course, but each act or ride or show or concession had its own agent whose job it was to collect money from the patrons, and to insure that they were served in a fair and timely fashion. But because of the open layout of the Park, it grew difficult, especially at the more popular sites, to keep track of who had paid and who had been served. The agents were overwhelmed. On many a bright summer’s day, for instance, you could hear the grumbling of the people who had bought their tickets many hours before, and still not received their turn through the Cool Rapids Water Ride. The lines grew longer, the service grew slower, and the tempers of the patrons grew shorter.
The problems only got worse as the Park’s fame grew. Soon, the locals were so frustrated by the inefficiencies at Alfondo’s Park that they stopped coming entirely, and found their own entertainment at home. The Park and its surrounding area were overrun by surly and ill-mannered tourists from nearby countries, who littered copiously and drove up the crime rates in the nearby streets of Parda Lin Glós. Finally, after an enormous and protracted fist-fight that broke out in front of the Children’s Theater on Midsummer’s Day (something to do with a mishandled tray of hot Parmec sausages—imprecations were exchanged, though the details are lost), Alfondo threw up his hands in disgust, turned over management of the park to his friend Dr. Bethall, and went for a long vacation in the mountains, where he liked to practise a peculiar art form involved with strapping long smooth laths of hickory rubbed down with wax to one’s boots, and sliding down the tops of glaciers at high velocity.
Dr. Bethall was a scholar from the Department of Patterns at the University of Kaia Lin Glós, the capital city of that region. Unaccustomed as she was to the problems of administration, she had her hands full with all the problems that had developed, but she quickly came up with a plan to put things back on track. After the park closed for the rainy season near the end of the month of Longshadow, she hired an enormous crew of contractors to implement her new plan, and by the time the gates opened to the new Alfondo-Bethall Park, with great fanfare on the first clear day of Newleaf, she was confident that all the troubles that had plagued Alfondo’s original design would be resolved.
“Gates?” I hear you ask. “I thought there were no gates on Alfondo Park.” And indeed, that was the very first thing that Dr. Bethall changed about the old Park: Where the old park had petered out into the fields in a rambling and desultory way, the new Park was surrounded by a tall, brightly-painted and beautifully-wrought fence, in which access was only possible via one of four enticingly-decorated gates. And the differences did not end there! Inside, Dr. Bethall had rearranged all of the rides and games and concessions to make the popular sites more accessible, and had put down a series of attractively-paved paths to lead patrons smoothly and quickly to their favourite destinations. But the biggest difference by far was in how patrons would pay: Instead of having an agent stationed at each site, patrons would pay for everything up front, at the gate. When you arrived, a friendly agent showed you pictures of all the attractions, and you could choose which ones you would like to visit, how often you’d like to visit them, and the kinds of food you would like to eat. Once you’d chosen, you would pay for everything up front, and they gave you a special ticket that gave you admission to all the things you requested. If you changed your mind and didn’t visit all the attractions you’d paid for, they would refund the unused part of your ticket when you left the park.
Knowing how many people were interested in each of the various attractions, the staff of the new park was easily able to keep the lines from getting too long or too disorganized, none of the concessions ran out of food, and the carefully-organized paths made it impossible for a large-scale food fight to break out in front of the Children’s Theater. In many ways, the new park was an even bigger success than the old one—the crime problem went away, the patrons were happier, and the whole enterprise made an enormous profit. Dr. Bethall wrote and published a number of important papers based on her experiences in rebuilding Alfondo Park, was granted tenure with distinction at Kaia Lin Glós, and later was chosen as the Chief Organizer of the Pattern Society for her important contributions to the field. In almost every way, Alfondo-Bethall Park was seen as an improvement over its predecessor.
For many patrons, however, the fences and gates and the strict regimentation of the Park had destroyed the sense of openness and fun it had once held. Duan Igaul, a long-time resident of Parda Lin Glós, echoed the popular sentiment: “Time was,” he said, “when a bit of summer fun was as easy and natural as breathing. These days, it’s a hard afternoon’s work.” And it wasn’t just the people who said this—merchants and businessmen who used to set up shop within the grounds of Alfondo Park also found that the new Park had much stricter rules and requirements, and took a much bigger percentage of their daily profit in the way of fees. Over time, the park stagnated, as it was too much trouble for new acts and concessions to come in, and patrons grew more and more bored with the same old things over and over again. Profits began to fall, and some of the less popular attractions had to be closed in order for the park to stay in business. As wages fell, so did the smiles on the faces of the gate agents, and soon the whole place had begun to feel like a shadow of its former glory. Dr. Bethall was too busy with her own rising academic star to worry about these problems, however; so when she was approached by a quiet and unassuming Telonese gentleman named Mr. Kijama who offered some clever suggestions for improvement, she turned the whole operation over to his custody without a moment’s hesitation.
Mr. Kijama saw that both of his predecessors had some very good ideas, despite their difficulties. The freedom and openness of the old Alfondo Park, in which everybody could do whatever they wanted all the time, gave the park a dynamic liveliness and eccentricity that kept people coming back again and again—but it led to a lot of logistical nightmares. Dr. Bethall’s renovations had driven away most of the logistical problems, making the park efficient and profitable again, but in doing so, her renovations stifled the atmosphere of the place and left it feeling static and restrictive. But Kijama had spent several years previously working for the Telonai Consulate in Lin Glóssa, so he knew from painful experience that a straightforward compromise position was likely to have all the problems of both ideas, and few if any of their advantages.
So, when Mr. Kijama took over, he did not tear down the fences or the gates, nor did he pull up the paving stones nor turn out the gate agents. Instead, he made some subtle yet important changes to the way patrons were admitted to the park. Under the administration of Dr. Bethall, patrons had to stipulate in advance just exactly what attractions and concessions they wanted to visit—but in Mr. Kijama’s park, patrons could enter at will. They still had to pay at the gate, but their ticket granted them full admission to everything the park had to offer for the entire day. Such tickets were more expensive, of course, but they permitted people the kind of spontaneous and unrestricted fun they had always enjoyed at the old Alfondo Park. In order to keep lines orderly, the park staff was trained to keep very careful note of how these patrons moved throughout the park, so that the park could adapt to their behaviour throughout the day. But Mr. Kijama also created a system of subscriptions to the park. A patron who was willing to tell the park agents which attractions he wanted to visit in advance would be given a ticket with a lower price, and a higher priority for waiting in queues. Nobody was required to subscribe, but anybody who wanted to could do so, and it took so little effort that many patrons did.
In fact, Mr. Kijama’s staff were so good at their jobs that, even for patrons who offered to buy the full-priced general admission tickets, they could often predict in advance which attractions the patron would be interested in based upon careful observations of his behaviour. What’s more, it was Kijama’s strict policy that those patrons who behaved as predicted would receive the same reduced price and increased priority as those patrons who had come in via subscription. Only those patrons who behaved in a truly unexpected fashion ever wound up paying the full price of general admission—and as it turned out, such patrons were both few in number, and extraordinarily eccentric.
This idea was so simple and so elegant that its impact was not fully understood for a long time. Many years after Mr. Kijama retired, he wrote in his memoirs about the long-term impact of the changes he and his wife had introduced at Alfondo-Bethall Park:
“Many people were angry about the need to state your intentions before entering the park as [Dr. Bethall] had constructed it. The traditional view at the time held, however, that if you could not completely predict the behaviour of a patron, your only option was to check his behaviour individually at every attraction. What we discovered then, and which has since been put to productive use in many other areas, was that you could predict his behaviour, at least for many patrons; and Marija pointed out that we need therefore only check the behaviour of some patrons—those who deviated from the model. [Her observation], that we put to such fortunate use at Alfondo-Bethall in Newleaf of y.617, has since, to our enduring surprise, become the standard for all such parks throughout the North.”
To you, of course, all of this is very old news—but you must remember that at the time, Higiro and Marija Kijama’s ideas were viewed with a great deal of suspicion, both by businessmen and the people at large. Though their maintenance costs were greatly reduced by the Kijama plan, many of the concessionaires still felt burnt by their experiences under Dr. Bethall, and were reluctant at first to come back to the park. Patrons, likewise, still saw the fences and gates and paths, and assumed things were just as stiff and dull as before—even though, in many ways, the park under Kijama’s administration was less expensive and more fun than it had been when Alfondo had first started it in his brother-in-law’s disused bovash pasture. It took a number of years before the park flourished again, but Higiro and Marija were both patient and dogged in their efforts, and eventually—as you know—it grew to become one of the most prized destinations in all the Five Nations. It is difficult to remember, now that Parda Lin Glós has grown into such a lively metropolis, that it was a small and fairly isolated community back in Alfondo’s day, but it is always heartening to recall that the seeds planted in that fertile soil eventually grew into such a bright flower of our modern world.
The great Wizard Alfondo, it is said, lived out the remainder of his days in great contentment in his palatial home atop craggy Ar Liom, surrounded by attractive and adoring young women and perfecting the art of snowgliding. As far as anyone knows, he has never returned to Alfondo Park, and indeed no one has seen him at all in Lin Glóssa, except his niece Simaya, to whom he occasionally shows up with a tray of hot Parmec sausages for Sunday brunch.
Filed by Michael at 15:20 under Diatribe, Story, Technology
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